GROG: What would you say to your loved one?
"The irony of grief is that the person you need to talk to about how you feel is the person that is no longer here."
- Author Unknown
Life is so short and we don't always expect to lose our loved ones when we do. There are often many things left unsaid and questions left unanswered when someone dies. How are you supposed to deal with that?
There are a few outlets one could use to feel as though they are having a conversation with their loved one:
1. Keep a journal and write down your questions, thoughts, stories, jokes, past times that you don't want to forget and new memories that you had to make without them here. The journal can serve many purposes whether you just write your feelings down to get them off your chest, or whether you treat it like it is a letter or conversation with your loved one. This allows you to track your thoughts and feelings in a safe place that you can go back to - not only to feel those emotions again but to see the progress you have made.
2. If you are religious or spiritual, you can use this during your healing process with your grief. Many clients will pray about and to their loved one that they lost, and they feel that this is allowing them to communicate with them, even after they are gone. I personally have felt as though I am talking to my deceased family or friends, and have even said "They are watching down on me," and this has helped me to know that they are not gone forever. Seeing it through these lenses helps me feel connected to them.
3. When we want to feel connected to our loved one who passed away, there a few things we can do. Talking to someone that they were very close with (their spouse, parent, child, best friend, etc.) can help you feel close to that person and may even bring back some memories for you. This will also give you the opportunity to share stories and laughs about this person, and you might learn something new. You could also go somewhere that they spent a lot of time or keep one of their belongings with you.
Don't be afraid to say how what you feel or what you are thinking while you are grieving. It is important to get that out into the open and start to work through your feelings because the journey with grief is long and unsuspecting.